LMAY F*cking & Dying: Who We're Talking To

For our final Let Me Ascertain You of the season, F*cking & Dying, we decided to delve into two of our favorite obsessions to see what happens when death and sex fixations collide. 

For the past few months, we've been exploring our competing sex and death drives, morbid curiosities, and dirty secrets on the path to nirvana. In true Civilians' fashion, we've interviewed a huge cross-section of individuals on the subject(s), including the owner of a six-feet-under club (yep, it's exactly what it sounds like), a sex therapist, a sex addict, a terror sex enthusiast, a "rent-a-boy," and many more.  

We wanted to share some brief experts from the interviews we've conducted for our cabaret at Joe's Pub on Saturday May 17th @ 7pm. Here’s a little preview of what we have in store:

We warn them that if they have something real special, like a designer suit, and they bring it down into the coffin, and you’re like number ten down there, it will get dirty. There’s no stopping that. Yah? And we kind of advise people to use condoms, uh, and we say like yeah, we don’t stop you from doing it without a condom, but just like clean up your stuff down there, like be aware that people want to go in the coffin afterwards and if there’s a mess down there, you’re cleaning the stuff up, it’s not the gravediggers job to clean up your...jizz down there.
––Six-Feet-Under Club

Screen Still from the movie SHAME

And, part of that is this whole ritual of repression, like repressing the repulsion. Um, trying to instigate and curate desire and ultimately, for me it's meant being um... vulnerable to strangers. In a way that is like, deeply disturbing. Sometimes it feels even unhealthy. Sometimes it's kind of magical, actually. To go into these high-rises in New York and to always, the door opens and the stranger is behind the door. And then to walk over every time to the window and look at the view. Usually it's a setting sun. And, and then to take a deep breath. And then be like, "Okay, I no longer- I'm no longer me." It's not always terrible, but most of the time it is.

––Rent-A-Boy

We Want Your Stories!

Hi Friends of The Civilians,

Our “Let Me Ascertain You” series returns to Joe’s Pub on Saturday, May 17^th at 7pm. We’re hoping you can help us with our next installment: “F*cking and Dying.”

If you didn’t notice, we’re a bit obsessed with sex and death at The Civilians and this cabaret explores what happens when those fixations collide. We will look at the duality of human nature and our competing sex and death drives - our instinct for life, love and reproduction against our instinct toward death, aggression, and repulsion...and we need your stories!

If any of you or anyone you know might have good stories about sex or death or tales where the two collide -- please send details our way!

We’re looking to hear stories about…

- Wild coming-of-age sex stories or sexual explorations

- Sex addiction or Nyphomania

- Auto-erotic fetishes

- Dominatrix work

- “Terror sex” following disaster or trauma

- Sexual encounters near or connected to dying, funerals

...or of course necrophilia 

Please send us a brief summary of your story or shoot any questions you might have to projectmanager@thecivilians.org and if we think your story might work for us, we’ll be in touch about setting up an interview. Any and all leads are helpful. We’re looking forward to hearing your stories. For more information click here. 

Yours,

The Civilians

Photo Credit: Antoine D'Agata 

Let Me Ascertain You: Sex Variants 1941

Do you consider yourself a “Sex Variant?” Don’t know what that is?

Well, dig out the skeletons from your closet and join us for the next Let Me Ascertain You. Joe’s Pub is having us back on Monday Feb 3 at 9:30 pm for a stimulating look into America’s secret sexual past. Get your tickets HERE!

Ever heard of Havelock Ellis? Magnus Hirschfeld? … no? How about Alfred Kinsey? They are the forefathers of a global sexual liberation movement started in the late 19th century toward the acceptance of people who identify as something outside the norm: Sex Variants.

Another less known (perhaps less liberated) pioneer in the field of sex research is Dr. George W. Henry of Cornell University. In 1935, he teamed up with the Committee for the Study of Sex Variants to publish the subject of next month's LMAY cabaret. "Sex Variants: A Study of Homosexual Patterns" hosts 80 interviews with volunteers who ran the risk of losing their jobs, blackmail, or arrest. We hear everything from the early childhood exploration of the body to orgies. Sometimes funny, often shocking, these stories illuminate the myriad of ways that humans have always explored and expressed the most animal of our instincts.

Here’s a little bit of what we’re talking about...

Nathan T’s personal sex history:

“Since puberty I've had a vague sex interest in dogs. For more than ten years I used to get them to lick my penis. I still feel vaguely sexy about dogs I like… If I saw anybody having sex with a dog I would think it rather nice.”

Rowena K on her endurance: 
“Sex averages four or five hours. We just stop and wait and keep feeling good all the time. It takes her that long. In five or ten minutes I have an orgasm but I continue feeling good. I can have ten to fifteen orgasms and still feel good.”

Henry divided the subjects of his study into three groups: Homosexual, Bisexual or Narcissistic. He was determined to make progress on the treatment and prevention of “sexual maladjustment,” so he evaluated the family history, psychology and physiology of the subjects hoping to find a pattern, maybe even a cause. And there are graphic physical examinations too and diagrams to prove it.

Yes: in the book, you can see a gay vagina compared to a ‘normal’ vagina; there’s a cross-section showing how a dildo works; you can witness studies of dozens of labial folds and areola.

From SEX VARIANTS

Myrtle K: “My clitoris enlarges when I get steamed up...My clitoris natural is two inches long. Enlarged it’s three inches and the thickness of a little finger. I think it’s grown half an inch in the past year. I’ll have to get a jock strap if it gets much more.” 

Salvatore N: “I often ask myself whether I am really a homosexual or merely a person who performs homosexual acts through association. I never want to have an affair with another homosexual. Taking the penis in my mouth does not satisfy me. Homosexual practices disgust me. Men who speak with an effeminate voice, who refer to each other as “she” or who make feminine gestures, are repugnant to me." 

Join us on Monday, February 3rd at 9:30pm at Joe's Pub as we transform these graphic first-person accounts into a provocative, pansexual cabaret of monologues and songs about first times, dreamy fantasies and excessive fetishes. 

The evening will feature original songs written from material in the book from these exciting 8 composers:

Tim Acito, César Alvarez, Maggie-Kate Coleman and Erato A. Kremmyda,  Michael Friedman, Andrea Grody, Grace McClean, Jill Sobule, and Max Vernon.

Pictures and quotes from: Henry, George W. Sex Variants: A Study of Homosexual Patterns. New York: Paul B. Hoeber, Inc, Medical Book Department of Harper & Brothers, 1941. Print.