LET ME ASCERTAIN YOU: CRIME, USA - Best Audience Crimes

At our cabaret at Joe's Pub on Thursday, Let Me Ascertain You: Crime, USA, we asked our audience,

WHAT IS THE MOST CRIMINAL THING YOU'VE EVER DONE?

Here are the most criminal responses:

"I'm a queer lady and I stole a keychain from a gay store in Northampton, MA - the lesbianist town of all. Not so criminal, but I was raised Catholic and oh, the GUILT!"

"Georgia, 1995. Certain sexual acts were still illegal then. Not trying to brag or anything. It was no big deal."

"I was arrested two weeks before my Bar Mitzvah with $200 worth of baseball cards and silly string in my pockets."

"You decide: a) Moved loads of pot through my 1957 Champion trailer. b) Smuggled tapes of Baloch insurgency out of Pakistan."

AND THE WINNER IS...
"Drunk driving to Vegas in an overpacked car - got pulled over but escaped unscathed due to $50 bribe!"

Congratulations to our winner, and a big thank you to all of our criminal audience members, and to the performers, Scrapomatic, and Alix Lambert! Thanks for a great evening!